They were not kidding. Hours are not amazing here. No sir. Last week woke up at 4am everyday, except Sat and Sun. Left the hospital and got home around 8pm. Don’t know how I did with so little sleep. Even after I got home I had to dictate op notes and discharges and write notes or procedures that I didn’t finish in house.
I felt extremely extremely lost. It felt so surreal, going into rooms, being introduced or introducing myself as Dr. Sheng instead of just saying “Hi I’m Jessica.” (Reminded on Day 1 I have to stop doing that, I’m not a student anymore) People call my phone (we carry around in house phones) and I’m supposed to be the first person they ask about things like “The patient in room 6 is in pain. Can we give her some morphine IV?” Um…um…um…yes? “How much do you want to give her?” Um………….can I ask my 2nd year? That happens a lot. Or the calls from triage like “Hi, triage bed 5 had a nonreactive NST in clinic, she doesn’t look that great on the strip here, can you do a BPP?” Um…I have never done ultrasound before for real…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So lost.
But it’s getting better. I’m at a wonderful place with wonderful seniors all around. My second year is amazing. I ask a million questions and she gives me a million answers and more. The Gyn team which is around once in a while who don’t even really have to interact with me will answer my questions if I have some. The nurses are great, the CNMs are great. Even with the hours, love love love my job so far. On my feet, doing things, time passes pretty fast. Attendings are all so approachable too. Could not have asked for a better first rotation. Even though it’s long hours and kinda difficult.
It’s a bit lonely, but thanks to the wonderful internet, I’m able to still talk to the people I love. Being away has really helped me put things in perspective. I have amazing friends who I know are there for me, that I can talk to about anything even if we don’t see each other everyday. People that know me well that will listen to anything. People that will drop what they’re doing and come if I need them. They aren’t necessarily the ones that I will hang out with often, but they know that that isn’t the most important part of a friendship. And I love them for that too.
And my new family. My new res family. I am starting to really love them too.